She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
