my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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