I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
