Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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