No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
