you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
