is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
