I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
That's when you crack a 10am beer
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
