There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
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