i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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