I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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