My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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