just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
