So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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