Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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