I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
