she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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