is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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