I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Success! We fucked roommates!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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