you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
