plz talk dirty to me
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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