just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
