So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
