Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
