pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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