We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
