I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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