honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
