Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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