She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
