tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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