someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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