i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
