Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
