I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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