Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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