I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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