Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
