he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish I only lived at night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
A+ Viking dick
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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