the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize