dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
