Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
