I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
