i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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