dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
