i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
