I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
