since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
