love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
