he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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