I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
